Having given birth 7 weeks ago, it's still a hot topic among my pregnant and thinking-of-being-pregnant friends. They like to know the nitty gritty details about pregnancy, labour, birth and babies to perhaps mentally prepare themselves and yes, it's as painful as they say. Describing a few of my experiences however, it became apparent that the same things to everyone were unknown and sometimes gross and downright shocking.
I didn't know a lot about pregnancy or childbirth myself either. Sure I knew your feet would swell or your hormones would be so outrageous even you would be scared of them, but as for the finer details and lesser known facts, my most frequent phrase was, "Is this normal?" A lot of the time when you're pregnant and especially now that I have a baby you always feel like you are the only one out there going through the motions. You're not. Everything I experienced was normal, I just didn't know!
I had the books and read the blogs, but it seems I missed a few things. There are many more weird facts but the ones below actually happened to me;
1. You can get pregnancy gingivitis
Painful and bleeding gums. Yuck. All attributed to those lovely hormones. Worst part though is when you go to have your teeth clean post birth. I can still hear the drill....
2. Your waters don't all 'gush out' like they do in the movies
I felt like an elastic band was 'twanged' inside me then a very warm and wet sensation. But it was only a few tablespoons worth. As the labour progressed and the contractions became more intense, more water was released.
3. When you go into labour, your bowels completely empty to make room for the baby's head
I didn't actually know I was in labour for the first 8 hours because of this fact. I thought it was 'poopy-pains' due to a bad piece of meat at dinner the previous night.
4. You can be constipated for a week after childbirth
Try three weeks. Metamucil and prunes were my best friends. I still get excited these days when I have a movement.
5. Baby girls can sometimes have a 'pseudo-period' shortly after birth
Probably the scariest moment of my mummy life so far was seeing that little red smear in her nappy. This doesn't occur with all little girls but after speaking to my midwife and checking google I was satisfied I could calm down. Apparently because she had been absorbing big lady hormones for 9 months, then was rudely and suddenly cut off from them, her body shed a lining because thats where all the unwanted hormones were.
6. Producing breast milk is a painful process
First it's the sensitivity issue and having a human squeeze the living daylights out of them. Then they blister, peel, bleed and scab. And this is all in the first three days before your milk comes in. THEN they get as hard as rocks and expand larger than Pamela Anderson circa 2004. This lasts for about 48 hours and if you're lucky like me, your baby will yank on your nipple so hard it bruises.
7. While breastfeeding, you wont normally have a period
Perks
8. Contractions were more painful than pushing her out
Her body actually leaving the birth canal was a piece of cake compared to the hour before.
9. You'll have an umbilical cord hanging out of you for up to an hour
They give you an hour to naturally expel the placenta but if you don't you either get a little needle jab in the leg or hope the walk to the bathroom enables gravity to help. My husband and I officially have no mystery left in our marriage.
10. You get uncontrollable shakes
Like you're in Alaska wearing a bikini. Except you're not cold. Lasts through labour and a couple hours after.
If these are old news to you, you lucky duck, why didn't you tell me. If these are new facts I hope you will now not be unpleasantly surprised and if you have a few little known "wtf's" of your own, please leave a comment below. xx
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